Between last year when I turned a year older on my birthday to this year when I turned one year older again - life has been no less than an emotional roller coaster. It has been full of internal struggles. A year that challenged everything I was proud to have achieved in my life, by people I considered as my own. These internal struggles are very difficult to talk about. We all go through some form or the other of such internal struggles, but we often make the mistake of assuming that those whose struggles we are not aware of have instead a life full of roses. It is seldom the case. We are all fighting our battles.
Different people deal with those battles differently. For some being at the bottom propels them to jump higher up - just like how a jumper aims to jump a high pole or make a long jump bends his knees first to propel his body upwards or forwards. For others, the bottom can be the quicksand that keeps sucking them in if they are not lucky enough to find help, either from inside them in the form of courage or outside in the form of a well-wisher, showing them the path to the way up.
Whether we are able to rescue ourselves or not, one thing is for sure, the feeling whilst being at the bottom is quite lonely and terrible. The helplessness to do anything, the restlessness which makes things worse, the relentlessness of trying to communicate but failing to, the hopelessness that nothing will improve - everything spirals like a rope that ties us tightly into that state forever.
One year is a long time - of introspection; of being within yourself stirring up the insides so that you can assess what you are made up of; by questioning each and everything that you have known about yourself and the world around you; of promising yourself that everything will be alright in the end because you have remained true to yourself. One year is a long time to endure.
For success in professional life, one perseveres, but for success in personal life, one endures.
And those who persevere shall succeed, those who endure shall succeed.
Happiness is not about avoiding facing the challenges of life for the fear of heartache, happiness is about being able to smile in the midst of those challenges. Living life without standing up for a purpose to keep it simple is letting life happen to you instead of actually consciously living it. However much heartache living life may throw at you, it is worth every ounce of pain.
My birthday this year brought about a turn of events. A more powerful me both within and outside was ready to take on the world - the world that I wanted to be part of and thrive in. I changed the scenery of my life's painting by drawing a new picture on a new canvas.
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